A little heartfelt…

I realise I have been seriously lacking in the blog department recently so, back on track!

I wasn’t really sure what I wanted to write, but I realise there is something I would like to aim towards doing, and I wold like to share it with you…

Before my Easter break and over the past couple of days a have been very down, I’m getting frustrated with everything! Frustrated that all my friends around me can drive and I cant, frustrated that this frustrates me, frustrated that I have to rely on everyone else to get anywhere, frustrated that because of my anxiety any solutions such as getting a bus or train become instant NO’s! in my head. I’ve ended up missing my family, my boyfriend and other friends who I don’t get to see as much as I like and as a result I just want to go home, yet when i’m home, because I don’t have a space which is just ‘mine’ and lose some freedom, I miss my flat at Uni……*facepalm*. Another thing is work, I hate it and don’t want to be there, the only reason I am there is so I can use what little is left of my student loan as savings and help my parents if they need it. I dread leaving for work and am seriously considering stopping soon to focus on uni work for the little time I have left here.

This morning I have been in limbo between feeling frustrated at all these things and growing up and getting on with it, and yes you guessed it, i’m now frustrated with this!

So I am resolving to take a stand against my feelings. I may not be able to drive but, over the Easter break my dad took me out for the first time in his car, I have booked my theory for the end of June and will be booking my driving lessons as soon as I get round to contacting the instructor! In terms of getting places, I have taken the train home before so why can’t I do it again? I will resolve to do this before my time at Uni is over…..*fingers crossed*. I have also resolved to try and enjoy the time I have left in my own place, as I know that when I go home I will miss it a lot! After all during my time at uni this has been the best flat! In terms of work, I am unsure as to what I am going to do, I will stick at it for now as I do appreciate the extra money and I am lucky to have a job and to have had the opportunity to transfer so I have one at uni.

I guess my resolve is that I have been complaining so much and making myself depressed about these things when I really have no need to be! I should enjoy it whilst it lasts, so I am going to man up and start enjoying it!

Amen!

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