Have you ever been in that situation where you won’t do something and you can’t explain your reasons for not doing it? This is what I mean by the ‘shame of anxiety’. Not necessarily this example but the feelings that come along with it. The frustration you have to suppress because others don’t understand why you really don’t want to do something and are looking at you like you have just grown antlers and a beak! (a winning combination may I add.) The embarrassment because deep down you know it sounds stupid but you can’t and won’t and you really don’t have a reason why. The ‘feeling like a failure’ feeling because something that seems so simple is so daunting? I hear you.
I can honestly say that being in this situation is hard and no matter how many times you experience it, it doesn’t get easier, you simply become more adept to dealing with it. I am not saying that everyone who doesn’t suffer from anxiety will make you feel like this but in that moment where something seems so simple, like walking outside for example, it can be easy to forget that actually something so mundane can be so scary for others.
It feels so degrading knowing that this simple task in front of you is just that, but to you it feels like you are about to climb Mount Everest. You feel stupid, embarrassed and frustrated, I bet those people who have climbed Mount Everest didn’t feel those things! It’s hard to remember that those little things are actually big steps forward and although they may not feel like it, these things will be building you up for the future, its one thing more that you can now do.
Having the right people around you makes such a big difference! They may not completely understand themselves but they will sit there and give you patience, time and try to understand. Use these people to help get you out of your comfort zone, lean on them and take the support they are offering. They won’t tear you down they will help to build you up with all these little things that you will and can overcome.
I guess what I’m saying is that no matter how rubbish you may feel there are always those around you who will help you to get out of the rut you are stuck in over these seemingly simple tasks, which are in all reality, big things to you. Don’t feel stupid or embarrassed just use the right people around you to overcome it.