This is a later post as I did not put anything up due to it being Easter. I hope you enjoy!
This week has been one of those love hate weeks. I started my new job so throughout the week I’m not going to have a lot of updates. I can say though that my training went well and I met some wonderful people who I get on well with. I have also been struggling with it as I keep panicking that I am going to do something wrong which, I know at some point I will as who doesn’t?! I think it’s because of what happened at my previous two jobs that it is playing on my mind. Although I know those weren’t my fault, I feel as though it has impacted massively on my self-confidence (the little I had) at work. I feel as though it is unfair that I and those immediately around me have suffered and I don’t want the same thing to happen again. I am struggling to let myself just enjoy the now at work because of this even though I know I can do the job. As you have guessed I am struggling to stay positive but am covering it well!
In other news I have, of course, seen my boys every other evening this week and this weekend they had a good wash (not that they were happy with this) and got to meet a little female Guinea Pig as my partner was looking after someone’s whilst they moved. Percy loved this, he wanted to show off a lot! She wasn’t bothered by this and it surprised me that Diesel didn’t seem fussed either, he is usually the one to start fights between them and he barely battered an eyelid at her! Over the Easter weekend we did have a lovely surprise as my Aunt and Uncle surprised me and my sister all the way from Scotland! We rarely get to see them so it was really nice to spend time with them. We showed the Windsor and the long walk then Windsor park on the Sunday. We also all went for a lovely meal, my partner included, that ended up turning into a very amusing night with wine involved! It was sad they went back on the Monday but it was so nice to see them as it’s so rare! We had such a good time and I feel grateful that I could have more recent memories of them.
My week has mostly been good with my partner too, although my feelings towards myself have affected us this week as I have been giving him more of my anxious parts and because he tends to be my outlet I have started a couple of heated discussions with him. We have made up although I feel anxious that I’ll start some more with him without meaning too. Hopefully I can keep these more under control as I know he doesn’t deserve it! Again this hasn’t helped me to remain optimistic although if I think about it we are still together and he has put up with me for FOUR years this year! I’m not sure why either but there we go! Hopefully I will be able to think more positively after this week after reflecting on this.
I am hoping that the next week at work will get easier both from this weeks reflection and the fact that I will get into it more as I find my feet but we shall see. I am struggling to find something optimistic to say as I write this so I am going to try my best to reflect as much as I can.
How was your Easter? Did you do much?