The Optimistic Diaries | Week 16

Hi all, 

This week I had my – almost – full first week at work, it was both interesting and scary. Interesting because it’s something new, I set up my own computer for my desk space, got my computer login and managed to go through a few files. However, I’m not necessarily loving it ATM, the files have been started so everything is everywhere and everything feels all jumbled up and confusing. The work itself isn’t scary I just worry that I’ll muck up. 


Since being optimistic is my theme for the year and I havnt been sticking to it in my weekly blog, let me try again… 

Firstly setting up a computer I actually really enjoyed, I felt quite technical and had a sense of achievement. The only thing missing is a splitter so my dual screen can work! As for the work I do find it interesting I just want to get going on a pile of fresh files that are my own and I am excited for when I can eventually do that 🙂 as for worrying about mucking up, I feel as though everyone makes mistakes and is going to make mistakes at some point. The managers say as long as you don’t send something to the wrong person it can all be corrected! I know this is true and that you need to make mistakes to learn so I’m going to try and be more relaxed at work to try and enjoy it more. 

In other news I was sad this week that I am unable to get a tiny ten week old guinea pig I fell in love with. I know that I shouldn’t until I have my own place etc but he was so cute! It’s difficult to see the positives in this for me, however, deep down I know that it is Better that I do not get another one this minute! I guess that’s more optimistic? 


More recently this weekend has been lovely! On Friday my partner took me out for dinner. He wanted to take me to Bournemouth (aawwwwww) but by he time we got back it was a bit late! We ended up in Basingstoke in Pizza Express enjoying a lovely meal! Unfortunately there wasn’t anything on at the cinema, but I didn’t mind as I was really enjoying myself! I found the rest of the weekend to be very similar to this, my partner was so loving and caring and we just enjoyed each other’s company, walking round Basingstoke, sitting in the sun with my boys, reading in the garden etc. The only bit that was harder was leaving him. We had such a good time together this weekend that I just wanted it to continue! Again it’s a struggle to think of something optimistic in this situation, but I keep trying to remind myself that we have had a really good weekend, we will probably see each other later on this week AND it’s a bank holiday next week. Surely this counts for something?! 
I guess over the whole I am feeling more Ready for this week and we shall have to see what it brings 🙂 I am looking forward to my first proper payday in a while and seeing both my boys and partner 🙂 bring it on?

How are have you guys been? Are any of you doing a challenge or theme for the year? 

The Optimistic Diaries | Week 15

Hello all,

This is a later post as I did not put anything up due to it being Easter. I hope you enjoy!

This week has been one of those love hate weeks. I started my new job so throughout the week I’m not going to have a lot of updates. I can say though that my training went well and I met some wonderful people who I get on well with. I have also been struggling with it as I keep panicking that I am going to do something wrong which, I know at some point I will as who doesn’t?! I think it’s because of what happened at my previous two jobs that it is playing on my mind. Although I know those weren’t my fault, I feel as though it has impacted massively on my self-confidence (the little I had) at work. I feel as though it is unfair that I and those immediately around me have suffered and I don’t want the same thing to happen again. I am struggling to let myself just enjoy the now at work because of this even though I know I can do the job. As you have guessed I am struggling to stay positive but am covering it well!


In other news I have, of course, seen my boys every other evening this week and this weekend they had a good wash (not that they were happy with this) and got to meet a little female Guinea Pig as my partner was looking after someone’s whilst they moved. Percy loved this, he wanted to show off a lot! She wasn’t bothered by this and it surprised me that Diesel didn’t seem fussed either, he is usually the one to start fights between them and he barely battered an eyelid at her! Over the Easter weekend we did have a lovely surprise as my Aunt and Uncle surprised me and my sister all the way from Scotland! We rarely get to see them so it was really nice to spend time with them. We showed the Windsor and the long walk then Windsor park on the Sunday. We also all went for a lovely meal, my partner included, that ended up turning into a very amusing night with wine involved! It was sad they went back on the Monday but it was so nice to see them as it’s so rare! We had such a good time and I feel grateful that I could have more recent memories of them.



My week has mostly been good with my partner too, although my feelings towards myself have affected us this week as I have been giving him more of my anxious parts and because he tends to be my outlet I have started a couple of heated discussions with him. We have made up although I feel anxious that I’ll start some more with him without meaning too. Hopefully I can keep these more under control as I know he doesn’t deserve it! Again this hasn’t helped me to remain optimistic although if I think about it we are still together and he has put up with me for FOUR years this year! I’m not sure why either but there we go! Hopefully I will be able to think more positively after this week after reflecting on this.


I am hoping that the next week at work will get easier both from this weeks reflection and the fact that I will get into it more as I find my feet but we shall see. I am struggling to find something optimistic to say as I write this so I am going to try my best to reflect as much as I can.

How was your Easter? Did you do much?

 

 

The Optimistic Diaries | Week 14

Hello all!

This week has been a very positive, if not slightly scary week for me. On the whole it has been easier to stay positive, mainly because of the pure relief I feel! Things with my partner have also been really good recently and we seem to be on a steady wave of understanding where the other is at and what they need.

Monday was the day that brought with it the great relief. As you know Week 13 saw me get the results from an interview I did and they weren’t what I wanted to hear. Monday bought with it another opportunity for an interview for a place very close to where I live. Of I went and 40 minutes later emerged wondering whether or not that the time meant it was bad or good. The waiting game played out for the rest of the day until I got a phone call saying that they would really like to have me on board and was wondering whether I could start in a weeks time! I am so relieved to finally have at least something again! I have to admit I also felt very mixed as there are parts of not having a 9-5 job i will miss but I am more excited to be getting paid at the end of the month!

Tuesday came and I was still mulling my mixed feelings but was overall excited still. The day was pretty dull as I just did all the ironing and it was lloooonnggggg. The evening came and me and my dad went over to see my nan to sort something out for her, it was nice to see her as I havn’t done so in a while and she was pleased with my good news. On the way back me and my dad decided to have a McDonalds for dinner and I tried a burger I havn’t had before! I know I’m going all out… My dad also won a mini ice cream cone with the McDonalds monopoly and I got to finish off the cone…although that is my favourite bit! We ended up spending the evening watching a film together, an older Jean Claude van Damme one which actually I really enjoyed!


Wednesday morning was an early one for me, I covered the phones where my mum works as there was a big meeting so no one to do so. I did a few jobs for her and ended up trying to find some jewellery for my forward helix piercing. Overall a productive morning! The rest of the day passed without any eventfulness and I carried on with my usual routines. Thursday was also the same, nothing eventful to report.

Friday was a bit more exciting as I spent the majority of the day with my dad until he went off to work and I had a shower ready to go over to my partners that evening. I popped over to Sainsbury’s with my dad before I went as we went to chose some hair products for me. I have a love hate relationship with my hair, theres a lot of it but its very fine so doesn’t get much volume at all. It’s also very silky so anything you do to it doesn’t last very long unless its cemented in place! I ended up getting a gel spray and a gel so I will be testing those out. At my partners I saw my boys, who actually tolerated each other for once! After dinner we all went out to a lovely pub and had a really lovely evening.


Saturday was a busy day, me and my partner ended up car hunting and work clothes shopping. My shopping trip was pretty successful! I came away with some really nice tops to go with some trousers I ordered off of ASOS. Zara have some lovely stuff in at the moment… My partners car shopping was successful but he isn’t sure he is going to get a new one just yet, but it was nice to find one he liked. After dinner I tried on all my tops, they all fit, and me and him played Alien Isolation on Xbox before watching Kung Fu Panda 3 and falling asleep.


Sunday was such a beautiful day that we spent all of it in the back garden in the sunshine. I cleaned out my boys and they had a good two hours munching grass and enjoying the weather with cuddles in between of course! The rest of the time was spent relaxing and me thinking about my first day at my new job…EEEEKKKKKK!



It has been easier to be more positive but the relief that the week brought with it trumps all else at the moment. I obviously have worries about the new job etc but right now they are easy to deal with.

I hope you are all good.

The Optimistic Diaries | Week 13

Hello all,

Week 13 was a difficult week. There were many ups and downs and in the moment it was hard to really find something positive in the downs, however, hind sight is a wonderful thing and I feel proud that I can now think back and come up with some!

Monday and Tuesday were pretty standard days for me, I spent time doing chores and bits with my dad and I enjoyed spending time with him even if I did feel like his little minion following him around! I also saw my boys a lot as giving Diesel medicine when he didn’t want to have it proved to be tricky! Saying this I didn’t take no for an answer so I am pleased to report he had all his medicine when needed.

Wednesday was the start of a down for me as the feedback I got from a job interview was not the way I wanted it to go and it made me feel very down and useless. I had a bit of a cry and got a big hug from my dad which was, looking back on it a lovely moment. He also managed to cheer me up and put things into perspective for me. However because I felt really rubbish Wednesday was also the start of me feeling insecure in my relationship, I still don’t understand why my partner is with me and this week I have slowly been pushing him away. The only positive I could find at the time was that the blog post I did ended up being well liked which surprised me as it was a book review so if you are one of the ones who read that then thank you!


Thursday was a better day but I still struggled and felt pretty low although I managed to see my boys in the evening and get them out for some grass munching! Seeing them always makes me feel better and calmer in general so this helped.



Friday came and me and my partner had decided to go on a date night, meal and cinema, the standard date! We got dressed up and ended up having a long conversation about us and the way we felt which definitely helped to clear the air and made us both feel better. The night ended up not going to plan as the film times were no good and Nando’s was so packed we ended up going to Pizza Express. I did surprise both me and my partner though as on the way back I spoke about how lovely the evening was as even though nothing had gone to plan it was a lovely evening and we decided to do what we had originally planned the next night!

Saturday came and we gave the boys a good clean out and found a way to have them both out at the same time (they fight)! The evening again, turned out to be lovely, we saw the film Life, which was brutal but I am pleased I saw it. Whilst discussing the film we waited for our Nando’s takeaway and enjoyed it snuggled up watching yet another film in the form of Kung Fu Panda, a cult film in our relationship.



Sunday was again a lovely day, we decided that because the weather was nice we would go for a picnic and a canal walk. We sat for ages enjoying the sun and the food we got before finally mooching along the canal. It was such a lovely day, chilled and calm yet it felt like we actually did something.


So there we go guys, a more in-depth version of my week! I am definitely feeling more positive after the weekend so I am hoping there will be good news to update you on in week 14! I hope you are all doing well and enjoying the weather.

 

The Optimistic Diaries | Week 12

Hello all! 

These week I am proud to announce has been a more positive one 🙂 the only bad thing has been that one of my boys had a vet appointment and is on antibiotics for a week, however, I’m not viewing this as negative as he’s getting better 🙂 

I had a job interview Friday which went well so I’ll have to wait until mid week to find out whether I have it or not so fingers crossed! 

The weekend saw me and my partner get a few dvd’s including the box set of Michael Macintyre and I LOVE him! We have spent a long time laughing at his dvds so far. 

We also went out for Mother’s Day and had a nice walk along the beach with some lovely weather to accompany us! Speaking of which the weather has started to get sunnier and I don’t normally like hotter weather but I am feeling pretty summery at the moment! 


I have felt more positive this week, it’s been easier to put things into perspective and think logically about things which has helped to be more positive about things. There have been a lot of things that have frustrated me recently but I’m trying to put them aside to focus on what’s happening on the day. 

I hope your year is going ok so far! 

The Optimistic Diaries| Week 11

Hello all,

I hope your week as been ok. I can’t believe I am on week 11 already! I feel as though it was only a few days ago that I decided to launch this series on my blog! Overall this week hasn’t been too bad, although I have struggled more to stay positive.

The beginning of the week was pretty good, I saw my boys and they had a good clean out!


I have also been cooking this week and have made a Corned Beef Hash, Jelly and a Bacon and Broccoli Macaroni. I was pretty pleased with myself!


Mid week came the onset of the usual self doubt and life doubt in general and although the week in general wasn’t bad I did struggle with staying positive. I tried to enjoy things as much as I could, seeing my partner and boys a couple of evenings and spending more time with my family in the evenings.

The weekend wasn’t too bad, I spent it with my partner at his and Friday evening we went to the pub with his parents which was fun! Saturday evening I had dinner with my family as my mum made a dinner for a St. Patrick’s day tribute, mostly for my granddad as he was Irish. The meal was lovely, beef cooked in Guinness with mashed potato with greens and spring onion (I can’t remember what the Irish name for this was…) and a Mango and White Chocolate homemade cheesecake for dessert!


Sunday I ended up needed an emergency trip to the shops for some jeans! I had a moment in the dressing room where I realised that I should really start exercising again…yes I did do a post saying I will be starting a regime a few months ago… no I never started it… As a result of my changing room incident I have vowed to start which I am hoping to do tomorrow once I get my weights. I have already started drinking more water with lemon slices so hopefully this time I will be able to keep you updated!

What have you guys been up too?

 

The Optimistic Diaries | Week 10

Hello all!

It’s week ten already….wow!

This week has been a positive one for me and one that I have really enjoyed overall. I went back to my Uni days to Luton to visit my best friend and we had a lot of fun.

Monday was fairly chilled and I tidied away and unpacked more stuff, so not much to report here! Tuesday saw me unpack more stuff but also allowed me to see my two little boys who are staying at my partners house, we had lots of cuddles and it was a relief to see them, even if one of them was on a hunger strike on his dried food, which I am pleased to report has finished!

Wednesday was packing day! And skipping to the evening and when my friend came to pick me up. The way back we did what we always do, play music and sing really loudly to songs which are probably really ‘uncool’ for us to listen too…because it was so late by the time we got back we just went to sleep! Thursday morning came and my little niece Millie (her dog) came bounding in straight up onto the bed for some good old morning cuddles. Croissants swiftly followed then the rest of the day was spent walking around town and getting food for our meals we had planned. 


Friday morning she treated me to a cheeky and very naughty breakfast at Cream’s which is a dessert place. and in true tradition we spent the rest of the day having a wander round the town looking in all the shops and of course getting excited about various makeup finds. The evening consisted of Dr Strange, Pizza and makeup, a very good evening in my opinion! 


Saturday, apparently turned out to be our day of rest and was spent in pj’s watching the Riverdale series on Netflix and eventually getting a McDonald’s drive thru….yes we were still in our pj’s! That evening was the sad time for me to leave but surprisingly I was able to hang onto the fact that we had had a really good few days and still had our own version of careoke to do.

Sunday was more chilled and I got to see my partner and my boys who thankfully got a clean out and a few treats from me!

Some may think that week 10 has been more of an ‘escape’ week and maybe that is right, but at the same time I feel as though having that break from everything has made me feel more refreshed and prepared to get on with the things I need to do in this coming week.

I can’t say that I feel completely proud of myself as I think week 10 was easier to be more positive, it was busy, fun and tiring but in a good way, although I am trying my best to carry this into week 11 with all the gusto I can manage!

How have your weeks been?

 

The Optimistic Diaries | Week 9

Hello all,

Week 9 started off more positive. I planned the main job I wanted to achieve for that day and accomplished the ones I set out to do! I did do a more in depth blog pot on this which you can see here.

I found the end of the week a lot harder as I moved back home Saturday. Packing everything up obviously isn’t fun but it was hard too as I almost felt as though I had failed being able to live my own life. I felt as though I wasn’t good enough and also felt like a burden on both my parents and my partners parents as they said my two little guinea pigs could stay in their garden.



Despite it being pretty rough (and feeling rough!) I am still trying to force myself to think on the positive side and although it has been much harder I have managed to find some. First off I have managed to have a clear out of my stuff and usually I find clear out’s hard as I get attached to things. I was pretty proud of myself as I managed to chuck a fair few bits out and set separate my attachment issues! I’m also pleased that my boys are staying with my partner as although I know he’d prefer not to he looks after them very well and I know they will be well looked after! Another positive I found is that I will be able to spend more time with my parents and sister which will be nice.

I am trying to stay positive and find good points in everything and was pleased that I could find a few good things in something bad.


How have your weeks been? Hope you are all ok.

 

My BIG March 2017 Goal

“Look for something positive in each day, even if some days you have to look a little harder” – Quote from IQ Mag, does not have a name.

Hello all!

For the past week or so I have been getting ready to move back home. Yes I know…again…but unfortunately things are just not working out the way I want them too. It was put to me the other day that in a way I set myself up to fail sometimes as I expect things to be bigger than they are, or I expect myself to already to be able to do these things etc. What I mean by this is that I expect myself to be further along or for something to go a certain way so when it either doesn’t or I can’t fulfill something I am instantly disappointed.

Every morning for the past week I have been waking up and thinking about what needs to be done on that day and what I can leave for later. For example today I planned that I would clean my little boys out before the move so that they are all clean when they also move with me. This was an event in itself as, whilst I was cleaning the second hutch out my little Percy fell behind the hutch. I spent the next hour lead on the sofa with him as he was shaken but luckily not hurt and was going for all the cuddles he could get out of me! It dawned on me that you can’t plan for something to go a certain way/expect it to as there are so many factors out of your control.

Percy getting his cuddles in!
Thus from this point on I shall wake up in the morning and plan the things I need to get done, starting with the most important first. However, whilst I plan these things I will remind myself that I may not be able to do them all and actually I my need a little help here and there. This March I will not set myself up to fail (or try not to anyway!). Instead I shall take things as they come and not expect too much of both myself or the situation. In addition I will continue with my ‘optimism challenge’ and try to look at the positives.

Have you guys got any plans for March? What do you want to achieve this year?

The Optimistic Diaries | Week 8

Hello all,

Week 8 has been a mediocre week, pretty chilled as well as being relatively productive. I have enjoyed doing the little things this week and have actually really enjoyed spending the time on my own as well as face timing my partner and best friend. There have been a few moments where I have thought ‘what’s the point?’ but overall I have found the joy in little things such as finishing my book and doing some colouring.

The start of the week I started to sort out all the junk in my room ready for the move back home at the end of the week. I got rid of a lot of old beauty stuff and was pretty proud of myself as for some reason I get attached to things easily so getting rid of stuff is hard! I didn’t do as well with my clothes but I am determined to go back through them and get rid of more were I can. I also managed to finish a double spread colouring pattern and I really like the way it turned out. I also finished my book American Psycho which I really enjoyed but found it very different to the crime novels I normally read which felt good to read something different to what I normally do.

Mid week I also treated myself to a Lush bath and used the twilight bath bomb as it is one of my favorites!


Since I am moving at the end of Feb I won’t be with my boys 24/7 so I have been making the most of my time with them. There have been a few days this week where they have wanted a lot of cuddles, which I am more than happy to give! Below is a picture of Diesel, I tucked him up in my hoodie and stroked his head and he actually went off to sleep! I felt pretty good about this as it is rare that Guinea Pigs shut their eyes as naturally they are very alert. I thought he looked soooo cute and luckily I managed to get a picture!

One of my favourite moments with my other Guinea Pig, Percy is when I was led on my bed and he came over and cuddled up to me, he himself went off to sleep for a bit but I never got chance to get a picture!

The end of my week was slightly less positive as my skin isn’t amazing at the moment, I’m assuming this is due to stress but we shall see! I did however, see my friend and enjoy some cups of tea and donuts….ooppsss! In addition I also managed to finish another colouring pattern, this time a more simple one but I liked the end result nonetheless. I did the majority of this whilst watching re-runs of Police Interceptors which I have always enjoyed.

My partner came to visit me Sunday so this rounded off my week nicely as it was lovely to see him which felt really positive.

Week 9 will give me a challenge with moving back home as I feel pretty mixed about this, however I am trying to stay positive about it as it will mean I can see my family and partner more. It will also hopefully give me the opportunity to progress in my career.

I hope your week has been good and I wish you all the best for this week!